Cougar or Puma?

I have been approached by men younger than 30 in the past few months. I have had no desire to date. I have not been advertising my single status. I do not walk around with a "MILF" t-shirt on. I am tired all the time. And I'm definitely looking my age with help from this exhausting divorce (regardless of what my mother keeps saying, "you young and purty...Elizabeth Taylor marry lotta men in her life...last husband was younger guy too - you keep trying). I'm not interested in younger men, and I don't hang around venues that cater to this male demographic - I'm running around the park and the grocery store!


I did accompany a friend to a small artshow downtown on a free Saturday night (while the children were with their father ) where my typical plans would have included Ben & Jerry's and American Idol on Tivo.


I met M. by accident. Literally bumped into him walking out of the restroom and making sure my skirt wasn't tucked into the back of my pantyhose. He immediately asked if I was one of the exhibitors. "No, " I replied, "I'm a guest." He asked if I was here with anyone and I pointed to my friend (he's an actor/personal trainer, and NO, I have not gone there). You could tell M. was intimidated by my friend's looks.

He seemed mature. Until I learned that he was a 31 year old investment banker that owned the loft next door. Five years younger. Not too bad. And he was actually very good looking. I gave him my number.


I almost backed out of this "first date" at the last minute. I fielded a call that afternoon from a client/friend right before my call to M. to cancel and blurted out my dilemma to her. "You need to break the seal." she insisted. "Just go."

He picked a Korean barbeque restaurant. Over dinner, he told me he was into Asian women. Business takes him to the Far East often. "You're totally my type" he shared. " I think it's almost an obsession how much I like Asian girls." I thought it would be good to change the subject and talk about his other interests. "I really like to go to the gym." he offered. Oh god. Check please.

I recounted this experience to another mom friend of mine. "You shouldn't write him off so quickly. It would be fun to have just kept this boy around as a sex buddy, but I think that would make you a puma." she laughed.

What the hell is that?

Apparently, it's the definition of a woman under 40 that goes out with younger men. Over 40 and you're a cougar. And I'm still not sure if that's the accurate consensus on the correct meaning.

Give me a break.

For reasons that have nothing to do with my feline status, I am not interested in getting involved with anyone right now, especially a younger man. I already have two small children and I'm in the process of trying to get rid of a big child that throws expensive temper tantrums at me through his lawyers. But these are my personal choices.

I am actually offended that women are even labeled this way. How about pointing to a woman walking around with a younger man and saying, "Good for her. And good for them." Who cares why they are together? There's a very good chance that they might have found the fulfilling companionship that has eluded many of us.

At the very least, she may be getting a hell of a lot more booty than I am. Meow.