Carpe Diem

My last post was in April. Quite the writing hiatus, no? It got to a point where the raw nerve was tired of being hit, and needed to be left alone. And I think I just wanted to live a bit without analyzing and dissecting. And I ended up living a lot.

The last two months, I learned to exit that stage of paralysis that can occur during a divorce and remembered to seize the day. Carpe Diem. Because each one is a gift, not a guarantee.

I remember saying to my girlfriend M. back in early April that I just wanted a young boy toy. Some casual sex and fun. No strings. And I met him. Young and very successful, he told me that I was beautiful and enthusiastically courted me. During our first phone conversation, he asked me what my favorite dessert was. On our first date, he showed up with a box of gourmet cupcakes.

It was six weeks of great sex and when I started getting attached and suggested perhaps some light sewing thread (note: NOT chains or strings), the poor kid went running for the hills. Actually, while we were dating, he spent a lot of time driving me around the hills in the quest for a mack daddy bachelor pad to buy (note: early bad sign). So that stung a bit, but it was a good lesson learned. Be careful of what you ask for, because you just might get it.

But it was the first practice run since my break up, and for that, I am grateful. I'm taking the training wheels off and I got my money's worth out of that Brazilian bikini wax.

During this timeframe, three amazing events also occurred:

My stepfather was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
I stepped onto a plane and left this country to embark on a lifechanging trip.
My younger sister gave birth to her first child.

Each of these experiences have marked me in such a way that somehow, I have found strength and healing in them. So each deserves its own post.

Bear with me while I write them. And then join me. I'm looking forward to sharing with you.